A strand of yarn walks into a bar and orders a drink. The Bartender barks at the yarn "we don't serve your kind here, please leave!"
The strand of yarn leaves the bar and was trying to figure out how to get a drink. Then, he gets an idea. He turns himself all around and into a knot then frays his ends.
He walks back into the bar, sits down and orders a drink.
Again the Bartender barks "ain't you the strand of yarn I just threw outta here?"
The strand of yarn replies "No, I'm a frayed knot!"
Diedre:
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window......
"Pull over!!!"
"No," she shouts back. "A pair of socks!"
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window......
"Pull over!!!"
"No," she shouts back. "A pair of socks!"
(Diedre, the variation on this one is that she's a blonde.)
Teresa:
Why did the sheep avoid going into bars? She didn't like being carded.
Why did the knitter join a dating service? Because she wanted to get
en-guage-ed.
en-guage-ed.
How did the knitter feel when she lost her wool? Sheepish.
Imprinting on tee-shirt with ball of yarn and knitting needles - "Knit for Brains".
Laura:
Q: What do you get when you cross a midget and a vampire?
A: A little sucker about "this" (waist high) tall.
(My favorite Laura joke - Q: Where did the general keep his army? A: In his sleevy! We work together at the Boy Scouts, and doesn't it sound like Laura gets her jokes from Pedro? Oooh, I better shut up, or I'll be in trouble Monday.)
(My favorite Laura joke - Q: Where did the general keep his army? A: In his sleevy! We work together at the Boy Scouts, and doesn't it sound like Laura gets her jokes from Pedro? Oooh, I better shut up, or I'll be in trouble Monday.)
Alysha
A major was assigned to a new office on a military base. While he worked to set up his office, a private knocked on the door. The major quickly picked up the phone and motioned for the private to enter.
On the phone the major said, "Yes, General Schwarzkopf, I think that is an excellent idea. . . . No sir, that's fine, you feel free to call me any time. I'm glad I can help. . . . Yes sir, I will, and you give my best to your family as well. Thank you sir, and a good day to you too, General Schwarzkopf."
As the major hung up the phone he turned to the private and asked, "What can I do for you, private?"
Sheepishly, the private mumbled, "Um, sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone."
On the phone the major said, "Yes, General Schwarzkopf, I think that is an excellent idea. . . . No sir, that's fine, you feel free to call me any time. I'm glad I can help. . . . Yes sir, I will, and you give my best to your family as well. Thank you sir, and a good day to you too, General Schwarzkopf."
As the major hung up the phone he turned to the private and asked, "What can I do for you, private?"
Sheepishly, the private mumbled, "Um, sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone."
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