Calling All Hand Knitters to the Goldilocks Challenge

Diana's husband was relaxing, reading his Saturday morning paper, when he was suddenly surprised by the spouse, who is subject to fits (of enthuasiasm about knitting):

"I'm going to Hobby Lobby!  Want to come?"

"Sure.  When?" says the hubby, indulgently.  He already knows what she's cooking up, and in his typical supportive way, thinks it's great.  You know a man is a little love-addled when he's willing to graze Hobby Lobby for knitting supplies.

"Right now!  Want to come?"

"Right now?  I haven't had my shower yet!  Could I have a little more notice?  Can you at least wait for me to get showered and dressed?"

"Okay.  But I want to go as soon as I can."

"Alright.  I'm going to be back in a few minutes, handsome and debonair.  Are you ready for that?"

"Oh, yes, I'm always ready for that!  Hurry!"

Off he went for his slow, perfect shave, his long shower and otherwise meticulous grooming, dressing in a dapper dress shirt and slacks - even on Saturday, hubby always wears a dress shirt.  The man wondered why this was an emergency outing.  Diana was probably in an unnecessary hurry..

He turns up (eventually) and inspects the coupon, which expires today.  "Where did you get this?  It doesn't look like a newspaper coupon."

"You can print them off the Hobby Lobby website!  Are you ready to go yet?" (the coupon is  here).

He cruised luxuriously into the Hobby Lobby parking lot in his vintage white Fleetwood, and parked Daddy's Caddy in a space near the entrance.  He half follows his trotting wife into the enormous, beautiful store, which surely contains more crafting stuff than any tagging-along hubby could handle.  Fortunately, she marched purposefully into Needlecrafts and parked right by to Ultimate Sweater Machine display - almost as if she knew exactly where to go!  She snatched a machine and didn't even put it down while she shopped for essential yarn supplies (for some bewildering reason, the yarn she has is never quite enough).

The coupon is a big discount on the Ultimate Sweater Machine.   Diana's a big Hobby Lobby fan (no affiliation, but not only is it incredibly pleasant to browse, but they give their employees Sundays off to be with their families, which you have to respect), so hubby asked, "Don't you think you're taking advantage of Hobby Lobby?"

"Nope.  The Goldilocks challenge is going to make them money.  Think of all the yarn they could sell if I could get folks using a USM!"

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If you choose to accept it, here is your mission, hand knitters:  get yourself one of these Ultimate Sweater Machines.  It's affordable even at full price, and I just gave you a way to buy one on the cheap, just by watching the Hobby Lobby website, plus there's Craigslist and eBay and that other craft store, too. We are going to make beautiful gifts for Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear for Christmas.  Honest, I promise they'll be pretty, luxurious and easy.

What?  You ask, how can we do this for the holidays when it's already Thanksgiving?  Well, put that can of pumpkin pie filling down and think for a minute.  I'm going to show you how, step by step, and while everyone else is in a turkey stupor in front of the football game, you can follow my detailed, free instructions and videos and make these lovely projects.  After that, you'll have given machine knitting an honest try!

Machine knitters:  Your job is to find at least one hand knitter and tell 'em about the Goldilocks Challenge.  And, you can play along with us if you haven't used one of these machines yet.  Remember, the distinctive feature of the USM is that it will knit fancier hand knitting yarn than most other machines!

Texas knitters:  you are hereby exempted from interrupting your football-game viewing to knit, and please do not be offended by the mere suggestion that some folks would rather knit than watch the games.  Of course Texans need to watch their games!  But you've got a few days off, so you still have time to at least make a nice long scarf to wear to the next cold game!